


The Fear Gene

by JungMichan



Category: K-pop, SHINee
Genre: Acrophobia, Bromance, Comedy, Europe, Everyone Loves Lee Taemin, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Idols, Lee Taemin is a Little Shit, London, M/M, Male Friendship, OT5, Paris (City), Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JungMichan/pseuds/JungMichan
Summary: Taemin really isn’t sure what’s going on these days. He’s given up trying to keep track of the pranks and misunderstandings that have led to two of his favourite hyungs taking an unexpected plunge into the ocean, and he can only be grateful that nobody’s decided to blame him for anything yet.
Relationships: Choi Minho/Lee Jinki | Onew, Kim Kibum | Key/Lee Taemin, SHINee Ensemble/SHINee Ensemble
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. In which Taemin has a less than smart idea

Taemin has always been rather unconvinced about phobias. Heights. Deep water. The dark. Spiders. Dogs. He knows people are scared of those things – but it’s never quite been real to him. He can’t understand how those things can actually, legitimately terrify people. They’re just - well, _not_ _scary_.

Maybe he was born without the fear gene. There’s very little that scares Lee Taemin, and if he’s honest with himself, he’s a little proud of that. As the baby of SHINee and one of the youngest debuting K-pop stars in history, he sometimes wonders if he’ll ever manage to shed his image of Korea’s eternal baby brother. Even now that he’s 22 and really should be considered a veteran given his eight long years of experience, everyone in the industry still treats him like a little kid, and fans “aww” over him like he’s a remarkably clever puppy.

He doesn’t really mind, at least not usually. It’s his image, he’s used to it, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But it doesn’t exactly give him much to be proud of. He’s a man now, after all. He doesn’t want to be treated like a baby forever. Sometimes he wonders if it’s this constantly being treated like a cute, precocious child that makes him want to prove something. Prove that he’s an adult now; he’s tough, he's savvy, he’s not afraid of anything. He doesn’t need looking after any more. Unfortunately, his attempts at proving this usually somehow seem to backfire.

There was that time in Switzerland a couple of years ago when he’d jumped onto the top railing of the observation deck on the Jungfrau. He’d only wanted to get a better look at the view, but the entire staff had freaked out – even the cameramen had forgotten their jobs and lunged towards him to pull him down. They’d basically dragged him off the mountain after that, begging him to never do such a dangerous thing again. He still doesn’t quite understand the staff’s dramatic reaction. It was high, sure, but he’s a dancer. He’s in perfect control of his body. He wasn’t going to lose his balance and topple off the railing and down the vast chasm below it towards certain death. Why did they freak out so much?

He remembers that Kibum went white when he saw the footage back at the dorm. Taemin had never seen anyone actually lose all the colour in their face like that – he’d thought it only happened in books. He’d expected Kibum to scold him, but it had been Jonghyun who scolded instead, while Minho held Kibum’s shoulders and Jinki ran for water, because he looked like he was about to faint. Taemin felt bad about that, he did really, but he’d never intended to scare anyone, least of all Kibum. It was only a high place. What was so scary about that?

He tries to be considerate when people get scared of things like heights, but it’s really hard when he just doesn’t understand. So when he finds himself in Paris for a concert, he doesn’t hesitate. There’s one thing you simply have to do when you’re in Paris, at least according to Taemin, so when Minho, Jonghyun and Jinki all decide they’d rather sleep all morning than explore the city, he grabs the tired but always willing Kibum and tows him along to do some “sightseeing”.

“Taemin,” Kibum says. He sounds nervous. Taemin bounces along the walkway ahead of his hyung. He knows Kibum isn’t going to want to do what he wants to do. That’s the entire reason why Taemin hadn’t mentioned the words “Eiffel Tower” when he’d convinced Kibum to come out with him.

“Yes, hyung?” He spins around and gives the other idol his best innocent smile. Kibum looks as chic as they come in his black jeans, chunky boots and brimmed hat, but his face has taken on the expression of someone who has just begun to realise that they’ve been conned.

“Why,” Taemin fights back a giggle as Kibum’s voice comes out half an octave higher than usual. “Why are we walking towards a sign that says “Eiffel Tower Entry”?”

“Because we are going to see the sights from the best place possible!” Taemin skips back towards Kibum when he stops dead in his tracks and grabs his elbow enthusiastically. “Come on, it’ll be awesome! You can see the whole city skyline from up there.”

“I don’t want to see the whole city skyline,” Kibum says. “Not even slightly. It’s like, so overdone. Why pay to get a photo you can just get off the internet anyway? It’s such a tourist trap. Let’s find some back alley thrift stores instead. I heard you can find some real vintage stuff around here.”

“Shopping?” Taemin wrinkles his nose. “That’s boring. Come on, hyung, it’s the Eiffel Tower! How many opportunities are we gonna get to climb this thing? It’s a chance of a lifetime!”

“I don’t care,” Kibum’s voice takes on a familiar whining tone. “It’s not fair. You said we were going sightseeing. You never said anything about climbing.”

“This is Paris,” Taemin argues. “When you think Paris, you think Eiffel Tower.”

“I don’t. I think...Chanel.”

“Well we all know you’re not normal,” and Taemin ducks with the ease of long practice the swipe Kibum takes at him. He bobs back up and smirks at Kibum's frustrated face. He knows his hyung is afraid of heights. It kind of amuses him that Kibum won’t admit it, even when he knows Taemin knows.

“Are you scared?” He prods.

“No!” Kibum says forcefully. He looks up at the towering structure above them and swallows visibly. “I just can’t be bothered with all that stuff.”

“Come on,” it’s Taemin’s turn to whine now. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” He pulls out his trump card. “If you don’t want to, you can go to the thrift shops and I’ll go around on my own. I won’t get lost.” He watches Kibum’s face expectantly. He knows only too well that Kibum would let Taemin, nicknamed the “international lost child” for his total lack of any sense of direction, wander alone in a foreign city only over his dead body.

_ I’m so manipulative,  _ he thinks to himself with just a little glee as he watches dismay and alarm cross Kibum’s face.

“No, let’s stay together,” Kibum says quickly. He takes a deep breath and gives Taemin a forced smile. “If you really want to go up that much...”

“Yes!” Taemin cheers. He grabs Kibum’s hand and tows the reluctant singer towards the entrance. “You’ll love it once you’re up there.”

He ignores Kibum’s mutter of “I highly doubt that”. It’s not that he wants Kibum to be scared or unhappy, not at all. In fact, he is sure that Kibum’s fear of heights will be easily allayed once he sees the fantastic view. After all, it’s only a high place. It's not even slightly dangerous, not like the Jungfrau. It can’t really be all that scary. It must be all in Kibum’s mind. He thinks that if he forces Kibum to go up there, he might even be cured of his phobia when he sees how cool it is to be up high. Then he’ll be grateful to Taemin for making him go up there. Yes, Taemin is sure he’s doing the right thing.

They stop outside the kiosk where Kibum hands him his phone and makes Taemin take a photo of him for his Instagram account. “Get as much of the tower in the picture as you can,” Kibum instructs, and Taemin enthusiastically lies down flat on the metal walkway to take a shot of his hyung from below. He grins at the result – Kibum has got a rather blank expression on his face as he stares down at the camera, but his hyung appears satisfied with the photograph even with the odd angle. Taemin has the brief thought that Kibum is probably the only person in the world who can pull off looking so good in a photograph taken from almost directly below.

Taemin greets the girl selling tickets in excited and incomprehensible French - then it is his turn to stare blankly when she actually responds. Kibum is forced to do the communicating. It’s useful having Kibum around, Taemin thinks as his hyung easily purchases the tickets. He's so good at languages.

“Here,” Kibum says and shoves the ticket at Taemin. Taemin looks at it excitedly and then his face falls.

“Hyung,” he wails. “You got me a child’s ticket?” He inspects the large words ENFANT/CHILD printed in obvious black words in the centre of the ticket.

Kibum smirks at him. “You are an  _ enfant,  _ though,” he shrugs. “I didn’t even ask her for the child’s rate. She did it on her own.”

“This is so unfair,” Taemin pouts. He continues to sulk for at least the next thirty seconds, but has to give up after that because he’s so excited about the inside of the Eiffel Tower.

“Look at that! Wow, look at THAT!” He rushes from side to side. Kibum trails along behind him, still obviously rather less than enthusiastic about the prospect of climbing the structure.

“Hey, there’s an elevator. We don’t have to climb. We’ll be up there much quicker! Great!” Taemin discovers.

“Great,” Kibum’s echo sounds more than a little sarcastic. They cram themselves into the elevator alongside what seems like a hundred other tourists but in reality can’t be more than ten.

“Isn’t this fun? We could never get away with doing this in Korea,” Taemin chatters. “Can you imagine trying to get up the 63 building like this?”

“No,” Kibum says drily, “because I would never want to get up the 63 building. Ever.”

The elevator begins to move. Kibum is uncharacteristically silent as it rises. Taemin eyes him, a little unnerved – Kibum is usually impossible to shut up. He’s not worried, not exactly – but he doesn’t like the way Kibum's eyes have gone tight at the edges, and his shoulders are tense and slightly hunched. The first hint of guilt takes root in his chest, but he pushes it down forcefully. He’s doing all this for Kibum’s own good! And his hyung agreed, too. It’s not like Taemin physically dragged him up here. Kibum will thank him when his fear of heights is cured.

The elevator opens and they crowd out among the other tourists. They’re on an observation deck, open to the air as the city of Paris stretches out below and into the distance. The metal structure of the tower looms above them to peak at the top. It’s the same beneath their feet, a walkway of criss-crossed iron bars through which you can get glimpses of the ground far below. To one side the walkway has been replaced by a glass floor where people are playing, standing on the invisible surface with shrieks that sound like a mixture of delight and terror.

“Wow,” Taemin breathes. He rushes forward to the rail and puts his hands on it, leaning over to get a good look at the drop to the green courtyard hundreds of feet below. “This is so cool! Hyung, come check this out!”

He turns to look at Key and his heart sinks. Key hasn’t made it more than three steps out of the elevator. He’s clinging to the scaffolding-like inner wall structure and his face has gone that same sickly white as it did when he saw Taemin climb the railing on the Jungfrau. His eyes are huge as they track around the crowd, searching for Taemin with more than a little desperation.

“Hyung,” Taemin runs back towards him. He grabs his elbow. “Are you okay? Hyung? Key! Kibum! What's the matter?”

Kibum isn’t responding. Taemin doesn't know what to do. He takes Kibum’s face in both his hands and turns it to meet his own. “Look at me.”

Kibum’s eyes finally meet his. They are wide and dark with terror.

“I’ll fall,” he whispers. His fingers have a death-grip on the railing. “It’s all spinning. I’ll fall..”

“No you won’t,” Taemin is rather freaked out now, but he says the words as firmly as he can. “It’s perfectly safe. Look! It’s fine. There’s nothing to be scared of.”

Key is breathing fast. Way too fast and shallow. Taemin starts to think that perhaps this wasn’t his greatest idea ever. He hasn’t ever actually seen his hyung go anywhere high before, and Key rarely mentions his fear. Maybe this phobia thing might be more serious than he thought. He’s never seen Kibum like this.

“Stop it,” he says uncertainly.

“I’ll...fall,” Kibum gasps.

“No you won’t. You can’t. It’s impossible.”

Kibum starts to sink down and for a horrified moment Taemin thinks he is fainting – but no, this is more controlled than that. Kibum kneels on the walkway and puts both his hands on it, as if to reassure himself that the ground isn’t going anywhere. Taemin crouches down too. He pushes Kibum until they’re both sitting against the wall beside the elevator.

“Okay, close your eyes,” Taemin says. He doesn’t have a clue what he is doing but he can’t stand seeing Kibum like this. It is scary, and he feels incredibly guilty. “Close your eyes and pretend we’re on the ground. You can feel there’s nothing moving. You can’t fall. Take deep breaths.”

He keeps talking until Kibum starts to do as he instructs. He closes his eyes and his shaky, rapid breathing begins to slow down. Taemin looks at him anxiously. There is moisture beading along his closed eyelashes. Tears that haven't fallen.

“I’m sorry,” he says unhappily. “I didn’t know it was this bad for you.”

“Not your fault,” Kibum says faintly. “I thought I might be over it. That’s why I agreed to come up...I thought I could conquer it by now.” He gives a bitter laugh, eyes still closed. “I guess not.”

“Why are you so scared of heights?” Taemin asks.

Kibum sighs. “When I was four my cousin came to stay with my family in our apartment while his parents were overseas. He’s ten years older than me, so obviously I idolized him - and I bugged him like crazy. One day I was being particularly irritating and he told me he’d throw me off the building if I didn’t shut up and leave him alone. Being me, I didn’t, so he picked me up, carried me onto the balcony and held me over the railing. Not to drop me, not really, just to give me a fright. Well...we lived on the eighteenth floor. I couldn’t even scream. I just froze. All that air beneath me...his voice, telling me he was going to drop me...I’ll never forget...” Kibum trails off.

Taemin gasps. “He held you over an eighteen storey drop? A four-year-old? That’s...that’s fucking  _ sick _ .”

“Don’t curse,” Kibum says automatically.

“Did he get in trouble?”

“I’ve never seen my father so angry before or since. He kicked him out, made him go stay with some other relatives, but I guess the damage was done. I had nightmares for years - I’d wake up falling. Still do sometimes, only I know how to wake up without screaming now. Ever since then, I can’t be up high without reliving it. He's going to drop me. I’ll fall.”

“I...I didn’t know,” Taemin shakes his head. He feels terrible. “No wonder you’re scared of heights. I’m so sorry. I’d never have suggested coming up here if I’d known it was that bad.”

Kibum finally opens his eyes and looks at him. “It’s okay. Really. I’m the one to blame. I should have known better. I just thought maybe I could do it, this time.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“A bit,” Kibum nods. “Taemin...don’t tell anyone about this, okay? I can’t let anyone find out that story. You know what some of the fans are like. They’d hunt my cousin down. He was only a kid, too. My father says he didn’t understand the consequences of his actions.”

“That’s a crappy excuse,” Taemin growls. “I’d never have held a kid over a railing even at fourteen. At any age. He deserves anything the fans want to do to him.”

“But still, don’t tell. Okay?”

“The others don’t know?”

Kibum shakes his head. “There’s never been any reason to tell them. I just say I don’t like heights. Most people are okay to leave it at that." He looks sidelong at Taemin. "Unlike you.”

“Don’t,” Taemin groans. “I already feel guilty enough as it is. But I won’t tell anyone unless you want me too. I promise.”

“Okay. I trust you,” and Kibum finally smiles at him. It’s a shaky, faint smile, but it’s a smile all the same. Taemin’s heart twists at the bravery that fuels that smile. It’s so different to the whiny, wacky, diva-like personality his hyung usually shows. He puts his arms around Kibum, not even caring about the strange looks they’re getting from passing tourists. Kibum leans into him, and for once, Taemin feels like the older one. Having someone to look after - someone to protect - it's something he hasn't had much opportunity to do until this moment.

After a while Kibum looks up at him. “So now that we’re up here, don’t you want to look at the view?”

“It’s okay,” Taemin says quickly. “I can live without it. We should go down now.”

Kibum looks relieved at first, but then his face changes. Resolve enters his gaze. “No. Not yet. I got this far. I want to try again.”

“What?”

“You dragged me up the freaking Eiffel Tower, Taemin! Now that I’m here, I want to try. I hate being afraid of heights. It’s so...unmanly.”

Taemin giggles. “Because you’re so the most manly guy I know,” he teases, eliciting a “hey!” from his hyung. “Come on then. First step is to stand up and not look like you’re having a breakdown.”

He stands up and holds out his hands, pulling Kibum to his feet. The elder makes a grab for the wall again but Taemin shakes his head, holding Kibum’s clammy hands tight.

“You don’t need the wall. This tower’s been here for a gazillion years. It’s not going anywhere.”

“O-okay."

“Come on. Let’s go over to the rail.”

He leads Kibum towards the edge. The other's steps are slow and hesitant, but Taemin is careful not to rush him. The last thing he wants is to set Kibum off into panic mode again. That was more scary than Taemin would like to admit, even to himself. It’s something he never wants to see his hyung go through ever again.

“You’re doing really well,” he says as they approach the edge. “See, it’s not so bad. There’s no danger at all.”

“I know,” but Kibum is shaking.

“Look, we’re here,” Taemin guides Kibum’s free hand to the rail. His fingers wrap around it so tightly his knuckles go white. His other hand is gripping Taemin’s and Taemin has to fight not to grimace as his fingers are crushed together. He guesses Kibum doesn’t realise how tight he's holding. Well, Taemin can stand it, if it helps Kibum.

“Taemin,” Kibum whispers. His eyes are closed again.

“I’m here. I’m right here.”

“I’ll fall...”

“No, you won’t. You can’t. I’m here. I won’t let anything happen.” Taemin promises. “Where are we?”

“Eiffel Tower...”

“Did you ever hear of anyone falling from the Eiffel Tower?”

“No...”

“Is Key going to distinguish himself by being the first Korean idol ever to fall from the Eiffel Tower?”

Kibum gives a trembling laugh. “No...”

“Then open your eyes. Look out, not down. Look straight ahead.”

Kibum obeys.

Taemin watches him anxiously as his eyes open and he stares straight ahead. He ignores the crushing pain in his hand and stands close to Kibum, so close their shoulders touch. He wills Kibum to see. To see the green spaces, the grand architecture, the avenues and the river Seine twisting and winding through it all. To see the beauty in the rolling horizon, instead of the fear below him.

“Isn’t Paris great?” He says softly.

Kibum smiles. His eyes are staring straight ahead, not down, and his face is still too pale, but he smiles.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathes.

The morning light catches in his eyes and illumines the graceful lines of his face, and Taemin nearly, very nearly, says something out loud that should be kept inside.

But he doesn’t. Instead he keeps the words close to his heart, where they are precious and true.

Kibum doesn’t look for long. Less than a minute later he turns hurriedly to Taemin. His hands are still shaking. “That’s enough. Let’s go down now,” he says, and Taemin hurries to lead him back to the elevator and down to solid ground again.

“You got Kibum up the  _ Eiffel Tower _ ?” Minho exclaims back at the hotel when they finally arrive. “How on earth did you manage that? Bribe? Bet? Dare?”

“None of the above,” Taemin says airily. “I simply offered him the opportunity to let me wander around Paris on my own.”

“Holy crap, no wonder he went up,” Jonghyun grins. “I wouldn’t fancy trying to explain to the manager why you didn’t show up to the concert tonight.”

“Pulling the international lost child act again,” Jinki says. “Did you get photos?”

Kibum’s face falls. He turns to Taemin in dismay. “I can’t believe we didn’t take any photos up there! That was like, a historic moment for me!”

“I kind of had my hands full to be taking photos,” Taemin says, massaging his hand with a wince. “You nearly squeezed the life out of my fingers. It’s lucky I’m not an instrumentalist. I don’t know if my hand will ever be the same again.”

“You'll survive,” Kibum shrugs heartlessly. Then he grins. “I know – show them your ticket!”

“No,” Taemin leaps away, fending off Kibum as his hyung suddenly begins to attack his pockets.

“Why? What’s so great about the ticket?” Minho, curious, grabs Taemin’s arms and holds them so that Key can rifle through Taemin’s pockets. Taemin struggles futilely in the taller man’s grip.

“Let me go,” he wails. “Hyung, this is unfair!”

“Got it!” Kibum holds the rather crumpled ticket up triumphantly. Minho lets go of Taemin’s arms to crowd around the ticket with the others. There is a short pause while three people read the English and French words printed on the ticket. Then Jinki gives a most undignified snort of laughter. A second later Minho and Jonghyun crack up simultaneously.

“A child! Our maknae got a child’s pass!”

“Don’t you have to be under fifteen to get one of those?”

“Under fifteen!” Jonghyun shrieks. “He’s twenty-two!”

“That’s fraud,” Minho manages to say through his laughter. “Or something like that. How did you pull that one off, Tae?”

“I didn’t ask for it!” Taemin protests over the uproar. “She just gave it to me!”

“That’s even more brilliant,” Jinki gasps. “Not even questioned. Just assumed to be fourteen. Possibly twelve.”

“Give me my ticket back,” Taemin makes a snatch for the ticket, but Minho has hold of it and holds it above his head, long arms stretching well out of Taemin’s reach.

“No way, maknae. This belongs to us now. It’s evidence of your status, for next time you decide you’re old enough to go wandering off alone.”

“Or drinking.”

“Or clubbing.”

“Or driving.”

Taemin groans. “I knew this would happen. Kibum, how could you do this to me?”

“I could be saying the same to you,” Kibum points out. “Blackmailing a person with a fear of heights up the Eiffel Tower? I have to get at least a little revenge.”

Taemin sighs. He can’t argue with that. “Fair enough,” he says reluctantly. “We’re even, then?”

“For now. I have to admit that it was a beautiful view.”

Jonghyun, still half-hysterical, starts singing. “ _ Neomu aremdaun-daun-daun-daun _ view,” he chants the line from their song.

“Oh God, just shut up. Every single time, seriously!”

“Why so seeeerious?!”

“ _ Jonghyun! _ ”

The manager shows up to take them to the concert venue and everyone is soon preoccupied with the sound checks and preparations. European fans are already queuing, although the stadium won’t open for several hours yet. They are told that some of the fans have been there since early that morning. Taemin still finds it overwhelming sometimes that they have fans even as far away as France. It’s unreal. After all, he’s just Lee Taemin, who is good at dancing, and was born without the fear gene. There’s nothing so very special about him. How did he ever get to deserve this much love?

He supposes he’ll never really know.

He watches Kibum as his friend sings his sound check. Kibum has secrets Taemin would never have guessed. He feels honoured that Kibum trusted him with one of them. It makes him realise that there’s more to the world than what he sees. So much lies beneath the surface. Just because Taemin doesn’t understand fear doesn’t mean he can’t learn to have compassion for those who do.

Kibum senses his eyes on him and shoots him a brief, affectionate smile. Taemin smiles back and gives him a thumbs-up. Minho and Jonghyun run up the stage, laughing about something, and Jinki has his head tilted slightly back, absorbed in watching some motion up in the stands. Taemin feels a strange sense of completion. He doesn’t get it often, but today he feels their bond as something more special than ever. Intangible, yet so real that he thinks their souls must have chosen this togetherness. Somehow, sometime, in some way that is above and beyond anything they can dream of, they were meant to be.

Together, they can take on the world.


	2. In which Kibum attempts his revenge

The more he thinks about it, the more Kibum is sure that Taemin has gotten away with his sins rather too lightly. He folds his arms and broods at the airplane tray table attached to the back of the seat in front of him. For the amount of emotional trauma he has suffered, merely having Taemin's status proven as a child (at least in the eyes of the French) is nothing like a fair retribution.

"We're nearly there!" Speaking of children, Taemin has had his face practically glued to the airplane window for the last twenty minutes. It's a short flight from Paris to London, the next stop on their tour. They had barely stopped climbing before they were descending again and Kibum's ears keep popping. He shakes his head irritably and massages his neck with his fingertips. He still doesn't understand why they couldn't have just taken the train.

"Look, look, look!" Taemin is almost bouncing in his seat as he jabs his finger at the window. Kibum cranes his neck around with a sigh of resignation. His vertigo doesn't bother him so much in planes, so he is able to look out of the window without having a minor meltdown, although he certainly wouldn't call it an enjoyable experience.

"Congratulations, you've found London," he says sarcastically as he gives a brief glance at the grey metropolis wound through with the river Thames.

"Not that," Taemin shakes his head and gives the impish grin that Kibum knows only too well. "I think I just found our next...um, excursion!"

"What." As sometimes happens when he is alarmed, Kibum's voice comes out completely flat.

Taemin just points out the window again, and Kibum's eyes soon discover the newest object of Taemin's desire. None other than the 135-metre monstrosity masquerading as an "attraction", commonly known as the London Eye.

Yes, Kibum reflects after Jonghyun has been forced to leap out of his seat across the aisle and prevent the maknae's sudden death by strangulation. Taemin has definitely gotten off far too lightly.

Kibum is unusually silent in the taxi that takes the five of them from London Heathrow to their hotel. They are performing at the O2 Arena that night, so, like Paris yesterday, they have the morning to explore the city if they so desire. Judging by the state of his members, though - Kibum hides a smirk as he notices that Jonghyun and Jinki have fallen asleep on each other's shoulders - nobody is going to take up that offer. He himself has gotten more than enough of the cold, rainy city when filming the variety show One Fine Day. London hadn't been at all as attractive and fashionable as he'd expected, and the crushing disappointment he'd suffered when the bookshop door from Notting Hill turned out to be a fake still hurts when he thinks about it. No, he will be spending the morning safe in the hotel, attempting to get eight hours sleep in the space of three, and _definitely_ not allowing Taemin to drag him onto that death trap pretending to be a "fun thing to do in London".

Taemin must be tired, too, because he doesn't kick up a fuss about seeing the sights. He flops down onto the double bed in their room and spreads his skinny limbs across the cover with a little wriggle of satisfaction. He plays on his phone for a while, but it isn't long before the device falls to the covers and his eyes drift closed. Kibum watches him narrowly from his position curled up in the corner of the sofa - Taemin has managed to occupy the entire double bed they are supposed to be sharing. No matter how ridiculously cute he manages to look when he's sleeping, it doesn't mean Kibum has forgiven him. No sir.

Jonghyun and Minho are sharing another room off the main suite and Jinki has volunteered to take the pull-out bed in the living room area. When Kibum uncurls himself and pads out there he finds that the leader has passed out on the couch in similar sprawled style to Taemin, though with rather a lot less space, meaning his left arm and leg are hooked over the back of the couch and his right are dangling off it. Kibum sighs at him, then carefully moves his arms to lie safely by his sides. Jinki will wake up with no feeling in his limbs if he sleeps like that. There is no sound from the room Jonghyun and Minho have claimed, so Kibum knows he is safe. A wicked grin steals across his face as he slips silently out of the room and into the hotel corridor. _Taemin, you are so going to get it._

One thing Kibum remembers rather vividly about England is that it seems to hold far more than its fair share of creepy-crawlies. He'd been told none of the giant spiders, daddy-long-legs, caterpillars, slugs, and other gross-looking insects are dangerous to humans, but he is pretty sure Taemin doesn't know that. The hotel is an old Victorian-era building and Kibum knows that no matter how nice they've done it up inside, any building this old is sure to have a cold and creepy basement area where they do the laundry and keep the cleaning supplies, and sure enough, his intrepid exploration of the emergency stairwell eventually brings him out into a rather dark and dank corridor of the kind any self-respecting creepy-crawly would love to lurk.

"Are you lost, duck?" An English woman in a cleaner's uniform has spotted him. Once Kibum has gotten over his surprise at being addressed as a waterfowl, he manages to shake his head and find his English.

"No, I'm fine. I'm looking for spiders," he explains.

"Spiders? You've come to the right place," the cleaning lady winks at him, "though don't tell my supervisor I said so. We're not supposed to give lodgings for free, but I say the poor things never did anyone no harm, so I leave them be."

She leads Kibum further down the corridor and into an ancient brick cellar. The only light comes from a small, dirty window high up in the ceiling, which is level with the pavement outside. "This used to be a coal cellar in the old days," the woman explains cheerfully. "Now we just use it to store the rubbish and recycling. This building dates back to the Victorian era, y'know. It was a stately home before it was a hotel. Generations of rich nobs and servants have lived and died here."

Kibum thinks of ghosts and only just manages not to shiver. His plight isn't at all helped when the woman swiftly locates a spider lurking in one of the darkest corners that is surely the size of a small dinner plate. It has long legs and a thick, bulbous body. It is _furry_ , and it is probably bigger than Kibum's face. If he had been alone, he would have already set the new world record for the hundred-metre corridor dash by now. As it is, he wraps his arms around himself with a convulsive shudder.

"A huntsman alright for you?" She grins. "You won't get a better specimen of a good British spider than this fellow."

"It's f-f-fine!" Kibum's voice comes out at least an octave higher than it should. He gives a quiet shriek as she blithely grabs the terrifying arachnid in her broad bare hand and tosses it into a square 2-litre ice cream container she'd picked up from the piles of recycling. Kibum is horrified to see that the spider's thick, hairy legs barely fit even into this large, square container. She slaps the lid on it and holds the container out.

"I-is it safe?" Kibum can't help the quiver in his voice as he eyes the container warily. Never has a container of double chocolate raspberry ripple looked quite so threatening.

"Safe as houses. Mister Huntsman isn't getting out of here unless you let him," the cleaning lady assures him. Kibum takes the container she offers with a shudder and holds it gingerly at arm's length. The idea of that massive monstrosity crawling around in there makes him want to hurl it as far as he can and run off screaming into the sunset, but he stops himself. This is his moment. He isn't going to let his own fear of spiders do him out of his revenge on Taemin.

"What do you want it for?" The woman looks at him curiously. "Forgive me for saying so, but you don't strike me as the spider-loving type. Or do you eat them where you come from?"

"No!" Kibum is rather offended by this suggestion. "It's for my friend. He...really likes spiders. I thought I'd give him a surprise present of an English one. We don't have this kind in Korea."

"Just as long as you don't let it loose in the hotel rooms," she warns him. "It's more than my job's worth to have a creature like that scaring the next set of guests."

"I'll set it free outside when he's finished...admiring it," Kibum assures her.

He thanks her for her help and starts the long journey back up the stairs to their suite, trying very hard not to think about just what it is that lurks inside the seemingly innocent double chocolate raspberry ripple ice cream container he holds in his slightly unsteady hands. "It's worth it," he tells himself as he climbs. "The brat needs to understand just exactly how it feels to be mortally terrified of something. But why, why, _why_ does the only thing he's scared of have to be spiders?"

He slips back into the suite and closes the door softly behind him so as not to wake the others. The rooms are silent save for Jinki's soft snores. Kibum tiptoes back into the room he and Taemin are sharing. The maknae hasn't moved an inch from where he had sprawled across the double bed. His mouth has drifted open slightly and his fingers still hover over his fallen phone. He is dead to the world. Kibum looks at that angelic sleeping face and hardens his heart. He mustn't waver. He knows better than anyone the demonic mischief that hides behind those sweet features.

Now, how best to use Mister Huntsman, as the cleaning lady dubbed him, to scare his beloved maknae into the middle of next week? Perhaps the best option is to just leave the container out. Taemin loves ice cream - he is sure to open it as soon as he sees it. It also means Kibum doesn't have to let the spider loose in the hotel room. He doesn't want to get the cleaning lady in trouble after she so kindly helped him.

Kibum places the ice cream container on one end of the sofa, sits himself as far away as is physically possible at the other end, and waits. The room is quiet. Taemin sleeps silently, and the spider, perhaps, has gone to sleep too. As he watches the container, a sliver of doubt slides into Kibum's mind. The container is awfully silent, and it had been ultra light, too. Just as if it was empty. Is it possible Mister Huntsman could have slipped out before the cleaning lady had slapped the lid on him? Kibum wouldn't put it past him. Spiders are notoriously sneaky little buggers. If the container is empty his revenge will be ruined! He better check. Just a little peep inside, just to be sure. If he only cracks open a corner, there is no possible way a spider as huge as Mister Huntsman can ooze its way out.

_Crack!_

Kibum's mind goes completely blank. A resounding, high-pitched shriek echoes in his ears, and it isn't until he has already near-levitated across the room and landed on the bed on top of Taemin that he realises the shriek came out of him. His heart is thumping wildly against his throat and his entire body is shaking like a leaf.

"What? What is it?" Taemin gasps. His eyes are round with shock as he tries to push Kibum off him. "Hyung! You scared me half to death!"

"It tried to get me," Kibum cries. He is completely and utterly traumatized. All thoughts of revenge are gone as he clings to Taemin, tears welling up in his eyes. "It jumped out at me! I only wanted to crack the lid a little, and it jumped right out at me!"

"Hyung," A note of exasperation comes into Taemin's voice as his shock from the rude awakening fades. "Were you having a bad dream?"

"No!" Kibum wails. "It wasn't a dream! There's a spider in here the size of the London Eye!"

"W-w-what?" Taemin's voice rises higher in pitch. He scrambles backwards and stands up on the bed, staring around the room. "A spider? In here? Where?"

Kibum stands up to join him. He grabs Taemin's shoulders and maneuvers him so that the maknae is between him and the couch where he last saw the spider. The ice cream container and lid have been flung in opposite directions, but the spider it once contained is nowhere in sight.

"It's in here somewhere! I swear it's the massivest thing I've ever seen in my life!" Kibum is near hysterical.

"Okay, just calm down," Taemin orders, though the last thing he can think about himself is calming down. "Freaking out is going to get us nowhere. I can't see it. Are you _sure_ you saw...OH MY GOD!"

Mister Huntsman chooses that moment to make his reappearance. He crawls along the white carpet, large, black, and hideously hairy. He isn't the size of the London Eye, perhaps, but it's a damn close thing.

"HELP!" Taemin and Kibum spring into each other's arms and shriek in unison.

"That is the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen!" Taemin has apparently just developed a previously unknown talent for hitting notes far beyond high C.

"Maknae, don't swear," Kibum scolds automatically, but his mind is on the spider. "It's between us and the door," he moans as Mister Huntsman pauses in his exploration of his posh new living quarters and spreads his hairy legs into the carpet, just as if he is appreciating the thick, luxurious ply. "We'll never get out!"

"I don't want to live here forever! The climate sucks!" Taemin wails.

They stand on the bed, clinging to each other as if for dear life, and watch the creature in shaking silence for a while. Mister Huntsman apparently approves of the room and is making himself quite at home. It is, after all, a far cry from his previous quarters in the old coal cellar now used as a rubbish and recycling storage.

"Should we call for help?" Taemin suggests after a while. There are times and places for manly pride, and being cornered in one's hotel room by a behemoth among spiders is not one of those times or places.

"They're all asleep," Kibum quivers.

"They'll wake up if we yell loud enough," Taemin points out, but the next moment, the decision is taken out of their hands as Mister Huntsman moves his hairy legs in the definite direction of the bed.

Taemin's ear-splitting scream is outdone only by Kibum's screech of "GUYS! HELP US!"

"HELP!" Taemin adds his cry to Kibum's.

There is a noise of a door slamming shut, and footsteps outside. Their door is flung open to reveal Minho in sleepy dishevelment, rubbing his eyes in a mixture of tiredness and annoyance.

"Will you two please just shut up for once and let us sleep -"

"Hyung! It's right in front of you!"

"Minho! Kill it! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Kibum is beyond reason by now.

Minho stares at them, then down at the floor in front of him. Mister Huntsman blinks up at him, just inches from his bare toes.

"Eurgh!" Minho makes a strangled noise and takes a hasty step backwards.

"Don't go," Taemin begs. "Please, save us!"

"Kill it!" Kibum repeats hysterically.

Minho's surprise doesn't last long. He crouches down and gives Mister Huntsman stare for stare.

"Gosh, it's massive," he says admiringly.

"We noticed," Taemin said as witheringly as he can manage whilst standing on a bed and clinging for dear life to an increasingly hysterical Kibum. "Can you please just get rid of it?"

"Kill it!" Kibum says yet again.

"I'm not killing it!" Minho sounds outraged. "A beautiful creature like this? He never did anyone any harm. These guys aren't even poisonous."

"Then get rid of it some other way," Taemin pleads, "otherwise SHINee will be a three-person group, because we are going to be trapped in here forever."

"Alright, alright." Minho smirks up at them. "You two are complete babies."

"Are not," Kibum says faintly and without conviction.

They watch, not moving from their position on the bed as Minho locates the ice cream container and deftly scoops Mister Huntsman up from the carpet, trapping him back inside with the lid.

"There. I've caught it. Go and take it outside."

"Hyung..." Taemin does his best tearful pout. "Can't you do it for us?"

"It literally leapt out of the container and tried to eat my face when I peeped at it before," Kibum shudders.

Minho laughs. "No. I'm going back to sleep. In case you guys have forgotten, we have a concert in less than six hours and we didn't get any sleep last night."

He places the ice cream container on the sofa, turns his back on their betrayed faces and wanders back through to his room. Amazingly, Jinki has slept through the entire uproar.

Kibum and Taemin are left standing on the bed, arms still wrapped around each other, regarding the ice cream container warily.

"I guess it's safe enough in there," Taemin says eventually.

"He could have at least left it in the kitchen," Kibum pouts. "I can't sleep knowing that thing is in here."

"Go put it in the kitchen then," Taemin suggests. 

"Why me?" Kibum whines. 

"You're the one who can't sleep in its presence!"

"Fine," Kibum huffs. He supposes he did carry the container all the way up from the basement with no mishap. He can make it into the kitchen. He untangles himself from Taemin and jumps down from the bed, picks up the container and holding it at arm's length, carries it into the kitchen, where he deposits it on the kitchen bench with a sigh of relief.

"Done!" he announces, closing the door firmly behind him. "This room is now a spider-free zone."

Taemin has sat back down on the bed and is in the process of dragging the heavy sheets out from where they've been deviously tucked under the mattress so that he can get between them. Kibum crosses the room and joins him on the bed. "Move over. I want to sleep too."

As they pull the covers up and drift off to a few hours of sleep and (hopefully) spider-free dreams, Kibum finds time to be grateful that it apparently hasn't occurred to Taemin that the presence of the spider and the empty ice cream container might be more than coincidental. He rolls over onto his side and regards Taemin. The younger boy is tired enough to have fallen straight back to sleep despite his recent blood-curdling experience. His up-curling eyelashes rest gently on his cheeks, and he is all angel again. Kibum sighs, and gently brushes a strand of hair from Taemin's forehead. For all the grief Taemin gives him, he can't help but love the kid.

He cushions his head on his arm and watches Taemin sleep until his own eyes drift closed.

Several hours later, they both jerk bolt upright, eyes wide in simultaneous alarm as an ear-splitting yell resonates through the hotel suite.

"OH MY FREAKING GOD!" It is Jinki. "THE ICECREAM TURNED INTO A GIANT SPIDER!!!......YOU KIDS ARE _SO DEAD_!"

Kibum and Taemin's eyes meet. 

"Oops..."


	3. In which Jinki tries to discipline the children

“Alright,” Jinki says. His arms are firmly folded across his chest and his normally cheerful face wears an unusually severe expression. Taemin and Kibum are sitting side-by-side on the couch in front of him. Both of them have unconsciously clasped their hands together in their laps, and they are wearing twin expressions that are a mixture of uncertainty, guilt, and barely suppressed nervous giggles.

Jonghyun, however, isn’t even trying to hold back his glee. He leans against the kitchen counter – carefully avoiding the ice-cream container which apparently holds not a delicious dessert, but a behemoth among British spiders (he’ll take Jinki’s word for it, he’s not about to check) – and snickers at the scene in front of him. Jinki doesn’t often put on his listen-to-me-I’m-the-leader hat, but when he does, things always get entertaining.

At least, he’s entertained until Jinki spins around and fixes him with a glare that actually makes him shrink a little. Jinki unfolds his arms to jab a finger at the couch. “Don’t think you’re getting out of this so easily, Kim Jonghyun!”

Jonghyun raises his hands. “Why me? I haven’t done anything!”

“Guilty until proven innocent,” Jinki mutters darkly. He takes Jonghyun’s shoulders and frog-marches him over to the couch, pushing him down next to Taemin with a bump. Outraged, Jonghyun can only stare while Jinki goes over to the room he and Minho are sharing and peers inside.

“Where’s Minho?”

“He went out for a run,” Jonghyun explains. “He couldn’t get back to sleep after these two woke him up with their screaming.”

“We were not screaming!” Taemin protests.

“We were just…requesting a little assistance,” Kibum explains.

“Loudly,” Taemin adds.

Jinki stomps back into the living room to fix the three of them with his best glare. “Fine. I’ll interrogate Minho later.” At the word  _ interrogate _ , Jonghyun finds his own hands moving into a politely clasped position in his lap. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but the leader sure can be intimidating when he wants. Jonghyun feels Taemin shuffle a tiny bit closer to him. He wants to put a reassuring arm around the youngest, but keeps himself sitting politely.

Is Jinki really mad? Jonghyun knows his friend pretty well, and it isn’t like him to get so worked up over a simple prank. Of course, they are all overtired from the non-stop European tour, and having a massive spider jump out of a perfectly innocent-looking ice-cream container isn’t exactly his idea of a relaxing afternoon. He thinks that Jinki is probably mostly pretending to be mad, to discourage the younger two from getting any ideas about some kind of prank war. But he isn’t sure.

“Now. Start talking. Who left the spider in the ice cream container?”

“Not me,” Jonghyun speaks up promptly. “I was in my room the whole time. You can ask Minho when he gets back.”

“Well it wasn’t me either!” Taemin pipes up. “I have no idea where the ice-cream container even came from. The first I knew of it was Kibum-hyung landing on top of me like he’d been shot out of a cannon.”

“Kibum?” Jinki raises an eyebrow, and the other two look across at him. Is Kibum the one who obtained the mysterious ice cream container that is apparently the home to England’s most enormous arachnid? It hardly seems likely.

Kibum swallows hard and Jonghyun is now 99.9% sure that Kibum was the culprit. But the words that come out of Kibum next make Jonghyun’s mouth fall open.

“It was Minho,” he says. “He put the spider in the ice cream container. We both saw him. Right, Taemin?”

Taemin blinks.

“Well, yes,” he says. “He caught it in our bedroom, but –“

“Yeah,” Kibum interrupts. “He wasn’t even scared! I told him to kill it with fire, but he wouldn’t do it because he said it’s a  _ beautiful creature!”  _ His voice rises to almost a squeak on the last words, obviously highly indignant about this.

“Minho did it?” Jinki looks as astonished as Jonghyun feels. “Why would he do that to me? I didn’t do anything to him!”

Kibum shrugs eloquently. “Who knows why Minho does anything? We all know he’s not normal.”

“This, coming from the drama queen of the century,” Jonghyun teases, and receives a glare from Kibum in return.

At that moment, the hotel room door opens and Minho walks in, dressed in his running clothes, looking rather damp and windblown. He comes to a halt when he sees the scene in the living room – three members of SHINee sitting in a row, Jinki looming over them like a principal over a trio of naughty schoolboys.

“What’s going on?” He asks.

“You tell me,” Jinki turns and snaps at him.

“What do you mean?” Minho looks taken aback.

Jinki glowers at him. “Of all the mean tricks. Turning my favourite dessert into my worst nightmare. How could you, Minho? I’ll never be able to look at double chocolate raspberry ripple the same way again!” He spins on his heel, flounces away into the bedroom Kibum and Taemin had been using, and slams the door behind him _. _

Looking mystified, Minho turns to the three members sitting on the couch.

“What have you guys been telling him?”

“He thought the container you caught the spider in was really ice-cream and opened it,” Taemin explains. “And, well, I think he may have gotten the wrong idea about your intentions.”

Minho slaps his hand into his forehead with a loud  _ smack. _

\--

Jinki has locked the door to the room that had once been Taemin and Kibum’s and will not come out. Minho hovers by the door, trying to explain through the slab of wood that he hadn’t meant to prank Jinki, he just hadn’t wanted to go all the way downstairs to take the spider out at the time, and then he’d forgotten about it by the time he’d decided to go out running, but Jinki is sulking like a pro, and all Minho’s wheedling goes without result. Even Kibum coming over to loudly wonder if perhaps “Mister Huntsman” has left behind in the bedroom a “Mrs Huntsman” and a brood of young “Misses and Masters Huntsman” who are undoubtedly missing their husband and father and might come out to look for him at any moment, has no effect. The door stays firmly closed, and not a sound comes from within.

Before long it’s time to go to the O2 Arena for their concert, and on the short taxi ride Minho tries his best  _ aegyo _ . “Hyu-ung,” he says pitifully, making his eyes as big and puppy-like as they will go. “Hyuuuung…”

He’s pretty sure Jinki is close to cracking – surely that’s a smile trying to tug the corner of his mouth up, though Jinki stubbornly keeps on staring out of the window at the rainy, grey streets, which Minho is sure can’t possibly be as interesting as him – but the taxi ride is all too short, and when they get to the venue they’re all too busy with the soundchecks and getting ready for the show to try and placate Jinki. Minho decides that by the end of the concert, Jinki will have forgotten all about it.

Unfortunately for Minho, this doesn’t work quite as well as he intends.

They’re up on stage, surrounded by waves upon waves of screaming fans, their light-sticks bobbing and waving like a sea of stars all the way up to the top-most stands. Minho has smiled so much his face is aching. He loves performing so much. He loves people, and he loves giving, and being able to give joy to so many people is the best feeling ever.

There’s a few sections in their concerts between songs where they get to take a break from singing and dancing by talking to the fans, telling jokes or playing silly games. Today, the staff roll a soccer ball onto the stage and they entertain the crowd by playing keep-up, bouncing the ball from foot to foot between them, teasing the ones who let it fall, while the fans scream encouragement to their favourite members and laugh uproariously when someone fails.

Minho is by far the best at keep-up, and during one turn he starts showing off. He bounces the soccer ball from his foot to his knee, up onto his shoulder and off his head, then spins around, intending to catch it on his foot again as it comes back down. Unfortunately, when he spins his heel slips on what’s probably someone’s sweat-drops on the stage and loses his balance.

“Whoa,” he cries as his arms flail out to the sides. The ball is coming down and he kicks out wildly at it – no matter what happens, he must not be defeated in keep-up! The ball lands on his kicking toe and ricochets off at an angle. The next moment, Minho lands on his butt on the stage, and the soccer ball flies straight into Jinki’s family jewels with a reverberating  _ thwump. _

Everyone collapses to the stage – Jinki with pain as he doubles up, the other three rolling in hysterics. Minho scrambles up and runs over to Jinki. He goes down his knees and wraps his arms around his friend.

“Hyung! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” he cries. He is desperately sorry for the unintentional agony he’s just inflicted on Jinki, but at the same time, it was such a funny accident that he can barely keep himself from cracking up like the others. After a few moments, Kibum manages to scrape himself off the floor and comes over to slap Jinki’s butt in the attempt to take his mind off the pain. Jonghyun and Taemin are apparently incapable of getting up, prostrated by laughter.

Eventually Taemin manages to get up too and leads the fans into the “it’s okay” chant. It seems they all know the Korean words even though they’re in London.  _ Gwen-chanh-a, gwen-chanh-a,  _ the familiar words echo around the stadium. Minho keeps hugging Jinki, apologising over and over. It’s funny for everyone else, but he knows Jinki is probably mortified. What an embarrassing thing to happen to you in front of twenty thousand fans.

Eventually he can haul Jinki to his feet and the leader waves at the crowd with a slightly pained grin.

“I’m okay,” he says through his microphone, and the crowd cheers and makes “aww” noises. Minho tries to put his arm around him, but Jinki makes a fierce face and shakes a fist at him, making everyone laugh again. Minho pretends to cower, sure Jinki is playing to the crowd. The incident leaves his mind as they prepare for their next song.

Everyone is too tired to do much of anything after the concert, so it’s not until they’re on the plane to Copenhagen the next morning that Minho realises that Jinki has not forgiven him at all. No sir.

“It really was an accident,” Minho tries for the  _ n _ th time. Jinki has his eyes firmly shut, but Minho is sure he’s pretending. “I slipped on something and my kick went wild. I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose!”

Finally Jinki opens his eyes and looks at him. Delighted at getting a reaction, Minho clasps his hands together and makes puppy-eyes. “Hyung, please forgive me. I’ll make it up to you!”

Jinki makes a considering face. “Well,” he says slowly, drawing the word out. “I suppose the stage was a little slippery.”

“Yes,” Minho agrees enthusiastically. “And the ice-cream thing was honestly a true mistake. I was saving Taemin and Kibum from getting eaten alive. You wouldn’t want them to die of being consumed by giant spider, would you?”

“That would be a pretty sad way to go,” Jinki admits.

“So you forgive me?”

“On one condition.”

“What is it?”

Jinki leans forward in his plane seat and meets Minho’s eyes, looking alarmingly serious.

“If you’ve permanently damaged my fertility, you give me your firstborn child.”

Minho’s jaw drops. From the row behind them, the three colourful heads of Jonghyun, Kibum, and Taemin suddenly pop up, their eyes as round as Minho’s feel. There is a short, astonished silence - and then suddenly Jinki is cracking up. Tears leak from his eyes as he points at Minho.

“I got you! I got you good!” He splutters. Minho starts to laugh too, more at the sight of Jinki laughing than anything else.

“I swear you have the weirdest sense of humour in the world,” he mutters, while the eavesdroppers in the row behind giggle. Well, at least Jinki is happy again. Minho is relieved. Even though he’s pretty sure Jinki was half-playing with him the whole time, he hates it when his group aren’t all getting along. Especially when it was because of him, even if both the incidents had been accidents.

Although come to think of it – where  _ did  _ that ice-cream container come from?

He snaps his head around and fixes his best “flaming charisma” stare on his three-person audience. There is a small yelp – he thinks it came from Taemin - and all three faces vanish back behind the seats and don’t make another appearance until the plane touches down in Copenhagen.

\--

It turns out that they have a couple of hours in Copenhagen to go sight-seeing, and this time everyone comes along. They didn’t see anything in London (except a prime specimen of the country’s native arachnid, of course) and they decide to make up for lost opportunities in Copenhagen. Minho fishes his DSLR camera out of his luggage to take photos.

“You look like a tourist when you wear that,” Kibum complains as they walk down the Langelinie promenade. It’s a beautiful day in Copenhagen, the sky a bright blue, the sun striking off the wind-ruffled ocean and making it sparkle.

“But I am a tourist,” Minho replies, confused as to why this should be an issue. Kibum makes a dramatic sigh.

“Hurry up, guys,” Jinki calls to them. The other three have gotten fairly far ahead, thanks to the fact that Minho keeps stopping to take artistic photos of the water. “We need to see the Little Mermaid before we have to go back.”

Kibum starts to walk a little faster and Minho matches his pace. “So, Kibum,” Minho says. Kibum looks at him. It’s the guilty expression again, the one Kibum has been wearing every time he’s looked at Minho since yesterday afternoon. In fact, since the very moment Minho came innocently through the hotel door and found himself on the receiving end of Jinki’s wrath.

“Yes?”

“Did you frame me for the spider prank?”

Kibum stares at him like he’s just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh…I can explain!” He stammers.

“You did!” Minho exclaims. “I knew it! I knew there was something strange about that whole situation!”

“I didn’t mean to,” Kibum babbles. “I wanted to scare Taemin to get him back for dragging me up the Eiffel Tower and nearly making me die of terror, so I went to the basement and caught one in the ice-cream container, only it jumped out at me and nearly ate my face _ ,  _ and then after you caught it we put in the kitchen and then Jinki opened it and it nearly ate  _ his  _ face and then he made us all sit down and asked us who put the spider in the container and it was really scary and so – “ he runs out of air, drags in a huge breath, and looks up at Minho pitifully, “and so I said you put it in there.”

There was a short silence, and then Minho says, “You did  _ what?! _ ”

“It wasn’t a lie!” Kibum waves his hands anxiously. “You did put the spider in there! Only…I put it in there first.”

“Not that,” Minho shakes his head. “You, Kim Kibum, actually caught a spider? On your own?”

“Well, a cleaning lady helped me. She thought we were going to eat it.”

Minho throws back his head and laughs. Hope dawns in Kibum’s face.

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me?”

Minho throws his arm around Kibum’s shoulders. “Nah, I’m not mad. He forgave me. It’s all over now.”

Kibum beams at him and turns in, wrapping his arms around Minho’s waist. “You’re the best,” he says. “I owe you one. I’ve been freaking out since yesterday afternoon.”

“That’s because you’re such a terrible liar,” Minho grins. “Come on, we better run. I want to take some shots of the Little Mermaid before we have to go and get ready.”

The aforementioned Little Mermaid is a famous bronze statue on the waterside in Copenhagen. Perched on a tall rock a couple of metres into the calm, flat waters of the harbour, she sits with her legs curled under her, partway through her transition from mermaid to human. When Minho gets there he goes out onto the rocks and takes a few shots on his DSLR while the others start playing about, hopping from rock to rock on the edge of the water.

“Hey Minho, can I have a go with your camera?” Jinki asks. Minho hesitates. His camera is precious to him, but he’s still glad that Jinki isn’t mad any more, so he reluctantly hands it over. “Put the strap around your neck so you don’t drop it,” he says, knowing how clumsy Jinki can be. He watches, eagle-eyed, while Jinki complies with this instruction and immediately points the camera up at Minho and snaps a photo. Minho groans.

“Bee- _ yooooo- _ tiful,” Jinki says in a perfect imitation of one of their most irritating photoshoot directors. “A  _ perrrrrrfet  _ impression of a stunned fish!”

“I’m so deleting that,” Minho mutters to himself. Jinki swings the camera up again, this time pointing it out across the harbour. Then he gives an ear-splitting yell.

“OH WOW, IS THAT A WHALE?!”

Startled, Minho turns to look – and feels a heavy shove right in the centre of his back. He gives a wild yell, flails his arms, and plunges headlong into the freezing water with a massive  _ SPLASH! _

For a moment, everything is dark, struggling coldness. His head breaks the surface and he gasps in a breath of air, treading water. “What – what the – “ he splutters. His hair is all over his face and he pushes it back, only to see Jinki up on the rock he’s just pushed Minho off, practically dancing with glee. He can see the other three behind him too. They’re all cracking up.

“YAH! LEE JINKI!” Minho yells as he treads water. He can only be thankful that Jinki at least had the decency to take his camera off him before apparently losing his mind.

“Swim, my little mermaid, swim!” Jinki shrieks, then dissolves into another gale of laughter.

Minho swims the couple of strokes back towards the shore. Kibum has come up behind Jinki and Minho meets his eyes meaningfully. A look of complicit glee comes into Kibum’s face and he reaches out and lifts Minho’s camera from around Jinki’s neck. Jinki is laughing so much he barely even notices.

“Jinki, give me a hand here,” Minho calls up. He pretends to be struggling a little, slipping back into the water. “My coat’s really heavy, I can’t get out.”

Jinki stops laughing and leans down immediately, holding out his hand. Minho seizes it and with one solid tug, Jinki is flying over his head. There is a startled shriek, cut off by a loud splash.

“My debt to you, Minho, is officially paid,” Kibum announces. Then he looks down at the camera in his hands, and an evil gleam enters his eye.

“Oh no,” Minho groans. Behind him, Jinki has surfaced, spluttering, just in time for Kibum to raise the camera and take their photograph.

“Three little mermaids in one shot!” He exclaims, showing the photograph proudly to Taemin and Jonghyun. “It’s our lucky day, guys!”

Side by side, Minho and Jinki clutch the rock and float, looking at each other dismally.

“You pulled me in,” Jinki pouts.

“You pushed me in first!”

“You kicked a soccer ball into my nuts!”

“You blamed me for turning the ice-cream into a spider!!”

“ _ You turned the ice-cream into a spider!!! _ ”

“No, I didn’t,” Miho blurts out before his brain catches up. “That was Kibum.”

There is a sudden, ominous silence. Up on the rock, Kibum is staring down at him, horrified.

“Ah,” says Minho. “Oops…”

Kibum doesn’t say a word. He simply turns around – and then bolts away down the promenade at a speed he has never before achieved, nor ever will again.

“Guys,” Minho gasps urgently. “You have to help me get out of here! Kibum’s kidnapped my camera!”


	4. In which Taemin becomes an international lost child

Taemin really isn’t sure what’s going on these days. He’s given up trying to keep track of the pranks and misunderstandings that have led to two of his favourite hyungs taking an unexpected plunge into the ocean, and he can only be grateful that nobody’s decided to blame him for anything yet. He doesn’t think either Minho or Jinki has actually done anything to deserve their sudden saltwater swim. It’s probably all Kibum’s fault. Taemin is pretty sure that the whole spider thing was no accident, but he’s playing innocent with every artistic bone in his body. He doesn’t want to become the next victim. 

He's on the shore, giggling with Jonghyun about how wet and stupid the two in the water look, when Kibum suddenly spins around, his face a mask of horror. He flies past them and bolts away down the promenade at top speed, and Taemin and Jonghyun turn to watch him go, twin expressions of bemusement on their faces. 

“What’s with him?” Jonghyun wonders, but Taemin doesn’t know, and a loud shriek from the water makes them both turn back. 

“Kibum’s kidnapped my camera!” Minho wails. He sounds as distressed as he might if Kibum had kidnapped his child. His arms flail at the rocks, but they’re slippery and he can’t get a proper grip. “Help!” 

“That kid is really something,” Jinki has given up on trying to get out of the water. He bobs placidly beside Minho. “Did he frame you? Why did he prank me anyway? Why didn’t you tell me it was him?” 

Minho isn’t listening. “Maknae!” He howls. 

“Yes?” Taemin tries not to grin too hard at how funny Minho looks, scrabbling at the slippery rocks with his wet hair plastered all over his face, but he’s fighting a losing battle. His distraught hyung points a dripping arm at Kibum’s fleeing figure. 

“Fetch!” 

Obediently Taemin turns and starts running after Kibum. His hyung has got a good head start on him, but Taemin has excellent stamina from all his dance practice, and he’s confident that he’ll catch him eventually. He weaves around groups of surprised tourists, trying to keep Kibum’s distant red jacket in sight. His hyung swerves onto a side street, and Taemin follows the fleeing figure along the twisting and turning old city streets. After a couple of minutes of pursuit, he feels himself start to tire. Running at close to a full sprint for this long isn’t easy. Since when did Kibum get so fast anyway? He puts on a burst of speed, trying to gain a bit of ground, but when he rounds the next corner he finds himself in a busy street crammed full of busy people, and he can’t see the back of Kibum’s red jacket anymore. He skids to a stop and looks around, panting. People are everywhere, the road is bumper-to-bumper with cars, people on bikes fly past the standstill traffic, and tall, unfamiliar buildings loom above him on both sides of the road. 

He stands on tiptoe to try and see over the heads of the crowd, then chooses a direction at random and walks a few paces. He peers into the windows of shops, but there’s no sign of Kibum. It’s like he’s vanished into thin air. 

“Where is he?” Taemin asks himself aloud. He looks around the street again and feels the first prickle of dismay. “Come to think of it,” he mutters, “where am I?” 

He stands motionless on the crowded sidewalk for a few moments while his insides feel like they’re going down in an elevator. 

Lost. That’s where he is. Lost. 

He groans, then steps aside hurriedly as a passer-by has to dodge around him. He shouldn’t just stand like a statue in the middle of a busy sidewalk, he’s in the way. He steps off the sidewalk to avoid a big cluster of teenagers in school uniform, and is almost knocked over by a person riding a bike. The bike-riding person swerves violently around him, then screeches to a halt to shake a fist and yell something at him in a language he doesn’t understand. Taemin bows repeatedly, trying to remember how to apologize in English, but every word of the language seems to have vanished from his head. Would English help him even if he could remember it? he wonders vaguely as the cyclist gestures at the sky in a “god-save-me-from-idiots” sort of way and rides off. What language do they even speak in this country? 

It's then that Taemin realises he doesn’t know what country he’s in. There are so many European cities on their tour and the foreign names all seem to blur together, their strange-sounding clusters of consonants meaningless to him. For a split second, he panics. Then he starts to laugh. It’s probably not actually funny that he’s so lost he doesn’t even know what country he’s in, but it’s laugh or cry right now, and given the choice, he prefers to laugh. He stands in the gutter between the sidewalk and what he now realises is a bike lane, and giggles to himself while bikes whiz past him on one side and people whiz past him on the other. 

Eventually he gathers his wits enough to reassure himself that it doesn’t actually matter whether he knows what country he’s in, since the only foreign language he can speak is Japanese, and one thing he does know for sure is that he’s not in Japan. As long as he can find Kibum again, he’ll be fine. A task perhaps easier said than done, but Taemin doesn’t let that daunt him. He doesn’t have a choice anyway. 

He steps back onto the sidewalk, picks a direction at random, and starts to walk with the flow of people. It doesn’t occur to him to try and retrace his steps back to the esplanade where he left the others. Minho told him to fetch Kibum, and fetch Kibum Taemin will. In Taemin’s eyes, Kibum becomes the holy grail for getting un-lost. His hyung can speak every language on the planet and probably some alien ones too, he possesses an actual sense of direction, and when Taemin is freaking out and trying very hard to hide the fact in smiles and giggles, Kibum always sees right through him, and knows just how to calm him down. 

Right now, Taemin really needs a hug from Kibum. 

\-- 

Kibum comes to a halt in a smallish open square. He’s facing a tall church built of orange bricks, with a clock tower and a pointed spire scraping the sky. Around him are old, square, intrinsically European brick buildings, and some trees imprisoned by pointed black iron fencing, their summer leaves catching the sunlight in a bright multitude of greens. He collapses onto a nearby bench and gasps for a while. He’s not run that far or fast for a long time, and his lungs are burning and his legs shaking with the effort. 

When he’s caught his breath, he sits up straighter and glances around furtively. He’s pretty sure he’s not been pursued. If Minho had managed to get himself out of the water in time to see where he went and chase after him, Kibum knows he would not have stood a chance of escaping, even with a good head start. Minho’s one of the fastest guys on the planet. If he’d decided to be a track athlete instead of an idol, he’d probably have won the Olympics by now. He’d probably have set a world record. He could probably beat a formula 1 car in a head-to-head race. They’d probably have to attach a spoiler to him to stop him going airborne... 

The image of Minho running with a spoiler strapped to his shoulders fades as it occurs to Kibum what he’s just done. He sinks his head into his hands with a groan of dismay. Not again! 

He’s been warned about this behaviour multiple times by his friends and his management alike, and he’s really tried to overcome it, but the fact is that Kibum has the strongest flight response of anyone he’s ever known. If it comes to a situation he’s not sure of, he runs. He runs far and fast, and only when he’s run for many long minutes with the only thought in his head being ESCAPE!!! does he ever start to realise that blindly running away from whatever problem he’s escaping isn’t going to solve anything. Inevitably, he’ll have to go back, head hanging and tail drooping, and apologise for not only whatever it was he did in the first place, but also for taking off like a startled deer and messing up everyone’s schedules while they either search for him or wait for him to come back. 

This is what he’s done now. He’s run off in a foreign city and left the others with no way of contacting him, as their phones don’t work here. Not only that, he realises with a jolt of further dismay, he’s run off with Minho’s precious DSLR camera around his neck. Oh, this is really bad. Minho treats that thing like it’s his firstborn child. Jinki was the one Kibum was running from, but now Minho is going to be mad at him too. 

_ You see?! _ He thinks to himself furiously.  _ You see why running away is stupid? Now you have two people mad at you!  _

“Tell that to my amygdala,” he says aloud, and sighs heavily. Oh well. Better go back and get it over with. 

As he retraces his steps back towards the esplanade at a subdued walk, he worries about Jinki. The leader has definitely come off worst in this particular chapter of accidents, and Kibum is quite aware that nearly everything that’s happened to his gentle hyung in the past couple of days is basically his fault. Is Jinki going to be really mad at him? Or worse, is he going to be upset? Kibum would rather hurt almost anyone than Jinki - the exception, of course, being his precious Taeminnie – and he’s worried Jinki might take all this personally. 

The streets eventually take him back to the esplanade, and he peeps cautiously around the corner of a building. He sees his group members immediately, walking slowly in his direction. Minho and Jinki are dripping, their hair plastered to their heads and their coats and jeans clinging to their bodies. It may be summer, but this is Denmark after all, and it’s not exactly what Kibum would call warm. Even from this distance he sees Jinki shiver, and feels even worse. At least he wasn’t the one who actually pushed anyone in the water, even if the misunderstanding that caused the event was his fault. 

He slinks out from behind the building and creeps towards them, feeling rather like a puppy who knows it’s done something bad and really, really wants to be loved anyway. Jonghyun sees him first and bounces over to grab his hand and tug him towards Minho and Jinki. 

“I found him, guys!” he cries triumphantly. 

“You did not,” Kibum protests weakly. “I was coming back anyway.” 

Minho spins around to stare at him, his eyes bigger than ever. “My camera!” 

“It’s fine,” Kibum hastens to reassure him. He holds it up from where it’s hanging on the thick strap around his neck. Minho gives a cry of relief and reaches for it, only to hesitate. 

“I’m all wet,” he says. “I can’t carry it, I’ll ruin it.” 

“I’ll hold on to it then,” Kibum offers, but Minho shakes his head wildly, sending drops of water flying everywhere. 

“No way! I’m not leaving my baby in the hands of a known camera-kidnapper,” he says. “Give it to Jonghyun.” 

“What? Why do I have to carry that heavy thing?” Jonghyun complains, but he accepts the camera from Kibum anyway. 

“Hey, Kibum,” Jinki says, and for a second Kibum cringes. He turns uncertainly to Jinki, wondering if he’s going to have to deal with anger or hurt feelings, or possibly both – but the expression on the leader’s face is one of mild concern. “Where’s Taemin?” 

“Taemin?” Kibum repeats blankly. He looks around for his precious maknae, and realises for the first time that Taemin is not there. 

“Minho sent him after you,” Jonghyun says. “Didn’t he catch you?” 

Kibum feels like he’d felt when he’d gotten out of the elevator on the Eiffel Tower. Everything seems to spin, and the ground is unsteady beneath his feet. 

“I never saw him,” he says. His horror is so great that his voice comes out almost a whisper. Minho takes a hurried step forward and grabs both his arms, steadying him. 

“Kibum,” he orders. “Breathe. You look like you’re going to pass out.” 

Kibum stares up at his friend. Panic is clanging through him. “Are you saying we’ve lost him?” 

“Oh God,” Jinki mumbles. 

“You sent him after me?” Kibum repeats. His voice rises into a wail. “How could you do that, Minho? You know what he’s like! He gets lost on his way from the kitchen table to the fridge!” 

“I thought he’d catch up with you easily,” Minho says. “You really didn’t see him?” 

“I didn’t see him!” Kibum repeats. He shakes Minho’s hands off and spins around, searching the esplanade frantically. Minho and Jinki are attracting odd looks from passers-by for being so wet, but there’s no sign of Taemin anywhere. 

“Okay, nobody panic,” Jonghyun says. It’s a bit late for that, Kibum thinks frantically. He’s already panicking. His flight mode is making him want to sprint off again, run up and down all the streets of Copenhagen in search of his missing maknae, but it’s him running off that has caused this situation in the first place, and he mustn’t do it again. 

Again. This is all his fault again. 

A cold, damp arm goes around his shoulders, and Kibum looks into Jinki’s face. “Don’t look like that,” the leader tells him gently. “It’s okay. We’ll find him. You know Taemin can look after himself. He’s probably quite happy exploring on his own.” 

Kibum bites his lip. Taemin might work hard to give that impression, yes, but Kibum knows the youngest member is a lot more sensitive than he lets on. He’ll be scared and trying to hide it, probably even from himself. 

“We have to find him,” he says desperately. 

“Which way did you go?” Jonghyun asks. “I’m sure he could see you at first. He can’t have gone far from your route.” 

Kibum hurries to show them the way. They search the streets, making their way further into the city until they reach the square with the orange church Kibum originally ended up at, but there’s no trace of Taemin. Kibum stops a couple of younger people – he doesn’t know any Danish, but he knows that at least the younger part of the Danish population are likely to be fluent in English - and asks them if they’ve seen a lost-looking Korean youth, but they all shake their heads, sending mildly puzzled looks at the soggy and shivering Jinki and Minho. 

“Do you have a photo of him?” One of the pair of college-age students he’s stopped asks. Kibum quickly fumbles out his phone and finds the latest post he made on his Instagram last night. It’s Taemin just after they’d come off stage, his hair damp with sweat, radio mic still on, and a tired but happy smile on his face. 

“That’s him?” The female student takes Kibum’s phone to look closer. “Is he a singer?” 

“Yeah. Do you know k-pop?” Kibum asks. 

“I know BTS,” The girl says. The others prick up their ears at the name of the idol group, probably the only word they recognize in the English conversation. 

“BTS, no! SHINee, SHINee,” Jinki pipes up, and the other two nod enthusiastically. 

The girl looks blank, and Kibum hastens to explain. “Our group is called SHINee. We’re on tour, and this is our youngest member. He’s lost in this city somewhere.” 

The girl looks back at his phone, and her eyes widen. “Whoa. You have a lot of followers,” she says. Kibum nods distractedly, reaching to take his phone back. They obviously haven’t seen Taemin, and they need to keep looking. “Why don’t you do a live? You must have fans here. Ask them to help you find him,” she suggests. 

Kibum looks at her with a sense of dawning hope. That is actually a really good idea. There’ll be the Danish fans, and more arrived from the neighbouring countries that have come to watch their concert tonight. With so many people looking for Taemin, someone is bound to find him. 

“I don’t think my roaming data can handle a live,” he worries. 

“There’s a Starbucks on the next block. You can use their WiFi,” the male student suggests. 

Kibum thanks them profusely and drags the others off towards the café, explaining the idea as they go. They get inside the café and find that they have to order something if they’re going to use the WiFi. 

“Quick, who’s got kroner?” He asks the others. They shake their heads blankly. All of their things are back in the hotel, being safely looked after by their manager, and Kibum realises that even if they did have their wallets, they’re only in the country for 24 hours. Nobody would have thought they’d need Danish currency. He clutches his hair briefly and tries to think straight. 

“Please,” he tells the girl behind the counter. “It’s an emergency. We’ve lost a child.” 

The girls’ face softens with concern. “Oh no. Shouldn’t you call the police?” 

Kibum briefly considers this, but decides against it. Taemin has been lost for less than an hour, and the police aren’t going to see a 22-year-old as a missing child, no matter how true it is. 

“We’ll try something else first. Please, can we have the WiFi password?” 

She relents and gives it to them, and they hurry to a booth. Kibum starts a live, and as usual the feed is instantly pounced on by fans with their notifications set. It’s past 11 pm in Korea, but plenty of their fans are still awake, to judge by the immediate stream of comments that start up. 

“Hi everyone,” Kibum says to the camera in English. Behind him, Jinki, Minho and Jonghyun crowd into view. “Fans in Denmark, we need your help. We’ve lost Taemin in Copenhagen, and we need to find him. Can you all help us look for him?” 

The comments reeling up the screen start to change, and English ones begin to intersperse with the Korean.  _ Where in Copenhagen? _

“We lost him in the streets near the Little Mermaid statue,” he explains. “Somewhere around the orange church. What’s its name?” He wonders aloud. “An orange church near the Little Mermaid, anyone?” 

Several comments come in.  _ Sankt Pauls Kirke _ , he reads. “Near Sankt Pauls Kirke,” he says, stumbling a little over the unfamiliar words. More comments are coming now as more fans get online, mostly a mixture of Korean and English, with a few other random languages thrown in. 

_ We’ll help!  _

_ Tagging my friends in Copenhagen -  _

_ How did you lose him?  _

_ 역시, 국제 실종 아동 ㅋㅋㅋ  _

_ I hope Taemin is okay…  _

_ 왜 민호와 진키가 젖었어??  _

The last comment reads “why are Minho and Jinki so wet??”, and Minho, reading the Korean comments over Kibum’s shoulder, leaps to answer. 

“Because this idiot hyung pushed me into the ocean!” He exclaims. 

“And this idiot dongsaeng pulled me in when I tried to help him out!” Jinki retorts. 

They glare at each other from behind Kibum’s shoulders while an army of laughing  _ ㅋㅋㅋ _ signs flood the comments. 

“Guys, shut up! We need to focus on finding Taemin!” Kibum tells them. 

_ What do we do if we find him?  _

A good question. 

“If you find Taemin, please send me a DM,” he says. He’ll just have to suck up the insanely expensive data roaming charges he’ll accrue by keeping his mobile data on. It’s worth it to find Taemin. “We’ll come get him.” 

\-- 

Taemin wanders down yet another busy street with a vacant smile on his face. He’s managed to turn off the panicky feeling he’s gotten from being so utterly lost by pretending that he’s an intrepid explorer, his mission to find that most rare and valuable animal - a  _ Kimmus Kibummus _ , last sighted in the vast wilderness of wherever-the-heck-he-is in Europe. 

It's quite fun being an intrepid explorer. The city has a deliciously foreign feeling to it, and the old brick buildings are so different to what he’s used to. Often they’re brightly painted, whole rows of them in different colours so that the streets look like rainbows, and he laments that he left his phone in his bag back at the hotel under the charge of their manager, where it is safe but useless. He’s not much of a photographer, not like Minho, but his phone camera does an adequate job of capturing memories for him. 

He's too busy staring upwards at the pretty buildings to notice that he’s wandered into a cluster of college students until he suddenly finds himself blocked on all sides by laughing, chattering young adults. Taemin’s used to being at least on the taller side of average, but that’s on Korean standards. These Europeans are in a whole different league when it comes to height. Most of the girls seem to at least match his 175 cm, if not top him by several centimetres, and the men tower far above him, tall and robust as young trees. He makes a hesitant and completely ineffective attempt to push his way out of this dense forest of humanity, but the whole group starts moving, and before he knows what’s happening, he’s stumbling up the steps of a bus. The person behind him pushes against him, and a bunch of hands around him reach out to tap transit cards against a receiver. The driver apparently doesn’t notice Taemin’s complete failure to scan a transit card, and the bus lurches off before he can fight his way back through the crowd of people standing in the aisle to the doors. He grabs a hanging strap above his head as the bus sways, and panic flashes through him again. He’s a criminal! He’s gotten on a bus without paying the fare! What if someone notices? What if he gets arrested?? 

The bus rumbles on, and Taemin decides that the only way to save himself from being arrested and possibly imprisoned for life in god-knows-whatever-country he’s in, is to get off the bus at the same time as the bunch of students he’s gotten on with. He was lost in their crowd before, he can be again. He hopes they aren’t going far. He still doesn’t know where he is, but at least before he was likely to be within walking distance of the others. Now that he’s on a bus, who knows where he’ll end up? 

The bus makes a few stops, and one or two people get on and off, but the big crowd Taemin is stuck in doesn’t move. One girl with hair so thick and brightly gold it seems to Taemin to actually glow taps his shoulder and says something to him with a wide, straight-toothed smile. Taemin smiles back uncertainly and nods several times, pretending he understands what she’s saying. He’s never felt so clueless in his life. 

About 15 minutes after he got on, the bus lurches to another stop and the crowd of students finally begins to move towards the back door. They tap their cards at the exit reader, and Taemin tries to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. He waves a vague hand in the direction of the exit reader and scurries out between the golden-haired girl and a mutantly tall guy who’s probably, Taemin thinks, at least 2 metres tall. For the first few seconds off the bus, he’s terrified that he’ll feel a heavy hand on his shoulder and hear a policeman shouting at him in whatever-the-heck-language they speak in wherever-the-heck-he-is, but as he tags along with the group, nothing bad happens to him. He breathes a sigh of relief and raises his head enough to look around at his surroundings. 

They’re outside what looks like a park, pretty and filled with trees and flowers. He sees the swooping red loop of a roller coaster track and what looks like a Chinese tower, and it’s all brightly painted and lit up with colourful lights. Taemin’s panic diminishes as he looks around, and excitement bubbles up to take its place. The intrepid explorer has found an amusement park! 

He tags along next to golden-haired girl and mutantly-tall guy. Golden-haired girl says something else to him with her glowingly white smile, and he beams back and nods enthusiastically. Smiling and agreeing, at least, won’t offend anyone. He doesn’t need a repeat of the angry cyclist he got in the way of earlier. She laughs and pats his head like he’s a cute puppy, and Taemin relaxes a little more. This is how he’s used to being treated, and it makes him feel a bit more confident. 

They reach what’s obviously an entrance ticket kiosk. Taemin hesitates and his smile slips. Mutantly-tall guy asks him something, and golden-hair girl looks concerned. Taemin turns the pockets of his jeans inside out and gives them an expressive shrug. He can’t help the sadness that creeps into his face. It would have been fun to go inside the amusement park, but he has no money. 

“Aww,” the girl says, patting his arm. She’s wearing that expression Taemin recognises as the one for when people think he’s being especially cute. Apparently, the expression transcends the language barrier. She turns to mutantly-tall guy – he’s probably her boyfriend, Taemin decides – and before he knows what’s happened, there’s a ticket pressed into his hand and he’s being ushered through into the park. He glances down at the ticket, and reads the words stamped across it in big golden letters.  _ BARN/CHILD _ . 

Child. He knows that word. Indignation rises up in him. Another child’s ticket? What is it with people? He’s not a child!! 

“What is your name?” 

He turns to golden-haired girl. She’s spoken to him in English for the first time, and it’s one of the very few phrases he recognises, too. A relieved smile breaks across his face. 

“My name is Taemin Lee!” He recites, perhaps just a shade too enthusiastically. “What is your name?” 

“Frida,” says golden-haired girl. 

“Frederik,” says mutantly-tall guy. 

Taemin does his best to repeat them. His ability to pronounce the letter “f” isn’t exactly the best, but neither of them seem to mind the murder he’s doubtless making of their names. 

“Where are you from, Taemin Lee?” is their next question. 

“I am from Korea!” He says. He dredges up an English phrase he sometimes recites in concerts. “I am very happy to see you all here!” 

They grin at him and say something that sounds friendly, and encouraged, he continues with the next part of his script. “Are you ready to have fun tonight?!” 

They crack up, and Taemin laughs along with them. Usually the fans scream when he says that, but laughter is good too. 

They start wandering around the amusement park in a big, laughing gaggle. Maybe his new friends think he’s a student too, or maybe they’ve just randomly adopted him off the street, but either way Taemin is glad for the company. He’s lost his hyungs, but he doesn’t feel half so terrified now that he’s surrounded by happy people who are looking after him, even if he can’t understand a word they’re saying. In fact, he feels rather proud of himself. There’s something about going around with a group of confident people speaking a foreign language that makes him feel very cool and grown-up. He pushes the embarrassing child’s entrance ticket deep into the pocket of his jeans. He’ll have to hide it from the hyungs, if he ever finds them again. They won’t let him live down a second child’s ticket. 

He rides on the rollercoaster and the other attractions with Frida and Frederik and his other new friends, and eventually they all end up sitting on the grass beside the glassy lake in the middle of the park. The students take out snacks and drinks from their backpacks and lay them out to share. Frida and Frederik sit on either side of him and pass him things to eat. They seem fascinated by his expressions when he tries each new item. He’s never tasted most of these things before, and some of them are very weird to him. 

He’s interrupted from cautiously touching the very tip of his tongue to what he thinks is possibly cheese that’s been left out of the fridge for approximately a hundred years, by an excited exclamation from the pathway nearby. He thankfully puts the possibly-cheese down and twists around, because the exclamation was in Korean. There’s a couple of Asian girls standing on the pathway and staring at their group, and when he turns around to look at them, both of their faces light up. 

“It’s you, right? SHINee’s Taemin?” One of them calls. 

Taemin scrambles to his feet, and all his new friends look around. 

“Yes,” he says happily. He’s never been so glad to hear anyone speak Korean. “I’m Taemin!” 

“We found him!” The second girl cries. They run over and she gestures at him with her phone. “Your group members are really worried about you,” she tells him. “Key did an Instagram live asking every fan in the city to help find you.” 

“We’re exchange students,” the other explains. “My friend in Seoul is a fan and she asked us to keep an eye out for you. But we didn’t think we’d actually find you. In his video Key said you were near the ocean! How did you get all the way to Tivoli Gardens?” 

Taemin laughs, a little embarrassed by the knowledge that thanks to Kibum, every fan on the planet probably now knows how useless he is at directions, but mostly he’s still just happy that he’s been found. 

“I accidentally got on a bus,” he explains. 

“Accidentally got on a bus?” The girls look at each other in amusement, then back at him. “How do you accidentally get on a bus?” 

“Uh...it’s a long story,” Taemin goes a little red. When he says it aloud, it sounds rather odd to him too. 

“Oh, you better DM Key that we found him,” the first girl tells the second. She turns back to Taemin. “Don’t you have a concert tonight? We thought about going, but tickets sold out really fast.” 

“Yeah,” Taemin agrees. He’s been trying not to think about the concert. If he’d let himself consider the fact that his idiocy in getting lost might result in him actually missing a concert, he’d probably have had a panic attack. 

Frida and Frederik come over to find out what’s going on, and one of the Korean girls explains to them in whatever-the-heck-language it is they speak here while the other messages Kibum and gets instructions to wait for him outside the amusement park. Taemin waves goodbye to Frida, Frederik, and all his other new friends, and follows the two Korean students – their names are Eunah and Chanmi – to wait by the entrance. The sky is still sunny and bright, and he’s astonished when Eunah tells him it’s nearly 6 pm. 

“Yeah, it’ll be light till around 10 pm,” she explains. “It’s not like Korea. We’re so far from the equator here.” 

“The concert starts in two hours,” Taemin groans. He should have been at the venue for sound checks an hour ago. “Oh god, I’m going to be in so much trouble.” 

While they wait, he talks to the girls to take his mind off how much trouble he’s in, and they take a couple of selfies with him to send to their Shawol friend in Seoul, who is apparently going out of her mind with jealousy. It’s not long before a minivan screeches up to the sidewalk, and before it’s even come to a complete stop the side door is flung open and Kibum flies out. Taemin stands up just in time to be almost knocked over by his hyung cannoning into him and wrapping his arms tightly around him with a cry of “TAEMIN-AH!!!” 

Taemin hugs him back as the other three pile out and surround him. He’s suddenly at the centre of a pile of relieved hyungs, all trying to hug him and ask him questions at once. Amidst the chaos, Kibum bursts loudly into tears and starts sobbing into Taemin’s shoulder. 

“How could you do this to me,” he wails. “I thought I’d never see you again!” 

“I thought I'd never see you again either!” Taemin cries. “I didn’t mean to get lost. I’m sorry!” 

“I shouldn’t have made you fetch him,” Minho ruffles his hair. “But honestly, when you couldn’t find him, you should have come right back!” 

“It was an accident,” Taemin explains over Kibum’s increasingly loud sobs. “I couldn’t find my way back.” 

“We don’t have time for this!” Their manager was driving, and he’s now flapping ineffectively around the tangled group hug, trying to shoo them towards the van. “You should have been at the venue an hour ago! Have your reunion in the car!” 

“Wait,” Taemin protests as the others let go of him – except Kibum, who’s latched his arms around his waist and is bawling into his shoulder like he’ll never let him go again – and start dragging him towards the van. “Chanmi and Eunah who helped me don’t have concert tickets. Can we get them tickets?” 

“Anything,” the manager says frantically. “Bring them with us if you want, but please, just get in the van!” 

“Do you want to come to our concert tonight?” Taemin asks the girls as politely as he can while being nearly hugged to death by Kibum and half-pulled, half-dragged towards the van by the other three. “I know you’re not really fans, but as a thank you for helping me?” 

“Sure,” Chanmi smiles. 

“It’ll be fun,” Eunah agrees. 

They all pile into the van. Kibum has completely lost any semblance of control, and spends most of the ride to the concert venue with both arms draped around Taemin, weeping into his shoulder. Taemin strokes his hair soothingly. He feels awful that he’s upset Kibum this much, but at the same time, it’s kind of warming to see this evidence of just how much Kibum cares about him. He hugs his hyung back while answering the questions the others fire at him. 

“I was following him for a while,” he explains, “but I lost him when I turned a corner. Then I nearly got hit by a cyclist, and I couldn’t remember which way I came. Then I accidentally got on a bus -” 

“What?!” 

“Maknae, how is that even possible?” 

“I swear, it was an accident!” Taemin protests. “I don’t even have a transit card. I thought I was going to get arrested for fare-dodging! Luckily, I was smart enough to hide inside a bunch of very tall people, so I got away with it.” 

“Only you,” Jinki shakes his head at him, half-exasperated, half-laughing. “You really are an international lost child.” 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Taemin brightens up. He can finally find out the answer to the question that’s been bugging him all afternoon. “What country are we in?” 

There’s a short, astonished silence, and even Kibum raises his head to peer at him through tear-reddened eyes. 

“You don’t even know what country we’re in?” Minho repeats. He shakes his head admiringly. “Taemin, you never cease to amaze me.” 

“Denmark,” Kibum tells him. His face is wet with tears. “We’re in Copenhagen, Denmark.” 

There’s another silence, while Taemin slowly blinks at him. Then Jonghyun starts giggling. 

“Don’t bother,” he advises. “He has no idea where Denmark is, either.” 

“I knew it wouldn’t have made any difference if I knew,” Taemin mumbles to himself while the others fall about laughing. Even Kibum manages to crack a watery smile. Taemin dabs some of the tears away from Kibum’s face with his sleeve.

“I’m really sorry,” he whispers. “I’ll be more careful next time. I’m really fine, so stop crying, huh? The makeup artists are going to flip out if you’re all swollen.” 

“If you ever do this to me again, I’ll really kill you,” Kibum sniffs, but he’s smiling properly now, to Taemin’s relief. 

“I won’t. I promise,” Taemin smiles back, and for a moment they share a gaze. There’s so much love in it, and Taemin feels the warmth of it blossom inside him, chasing away all the anxiety and fear he’s been pressing down all afternoon. He might be able to laugh it off with most people, but Kibum knows the truth of him, and his hug makes everything okay again, just as Taemin knew it would. 

“Hey, what’s this?” He looks around to see that Jonghyun, who is sitting on the other side of him, has gotten hold of something long and slightly crumpled, printed with large golden letters. Taemin makes a sudden swipe for it, but Jonghyun’s reflexes are fast, and he holds it out of Taemim’s reach. 

“ _ BARN/CHILD _ ,” he reads out. “Wait. Taemin, is this your entry ticket for that amusement park?” 

“Give it back,” Taemin wails, but it’s too late. Minho has snatched the ticket from Jonghyun and is holding it aloft triumphantly. 

“Look, guys! Another child’s ticket!” He crows. “Two different countries think our maknae is a child!” 

“How old do you have to be to get a child’s ticket to that place?” Jinki asks the two Korean students, who are watching the proceedings with interest. 

“Seven, isn’t it?” Eunah asks her friend, and Chanmi nods, grinning. 

“Seven!” Jonghyun shrieks. “No way!” 

It’s Taemin’s turn to hide his face in Kibum’s shoulder. He’s so embarrassed. 

“The French may think he’s twelve,” Minho laughs, “but the Danes are even better. Seven.” 

“If you’re under three, you can get in for free,” Chanmi offers. 

“Oh, Taemin, too bad,” Jonghyun shakes his head. “You’ll have to try for under three next time.” 

“At this rate, he’ll be a foetus by the time we hit Moscow,” Jinki remarks, and everyone cracks up again. 

“Foetus,” Jonghyun giggles. “I’m so calling you foetus on stage tonight.” 

“No, hyung!” Taemin lifts his head out of Kibum’s shirt. “I’m not a foetus! The people at the ticket barrier probably didn’t see me. Frida and Frederik probably got me a child’s ticket because it’s cheaper -” 

“Nothing you say is going to get you out of this,” Minho shakes his head, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “Foetus.” 

“Hyung -” 

“Foetus!” 

“HYUNG!!!” 

They get to the venue and through a rushed sound check without any more drama. The concert starts, and if Kibum acts rather more clingy than usual towards Taemin, and if Jonghyun utters the word “foetus” several times over the course of the show, and if Minho keeps on moving out of his positions deliberately so he can ruffle up his hair, and if Jinki sends him fond smiles from across the stage, well, Taemin doesn’t mind. He knows they're all just signs that his hyungs love him, and Taemin wouldn’t swap them for anyone else in the universe. 


End file.
